Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

This month’s musing is about the relationships that nourish our souls and provide the substance of our lives.

As I ponder the last year both professional and personal, I am struck by the inextricable power of connection, the truth that as humans we need each other. Our growth, wellbeing, and sense of contentment dependent on the quality of our relationships, our ability to be vulnerable, and to ask those that we love for what we need.

In western society a huge emphasis has been placed on independence and images of the self-made woman/man. In contrast, when National Geographic studied Blue Zones, locations in the world where people frequently live to 100, longevity was strongly correlated not just with diet but also close community connection. In Okinawa Japan, they call this moai (meeting for a common purpose). A small but tight-knit social circle meant to be there through all of life’s ups and downs.

When I reflect on my own ‘moai’ I realize the foundation of these relationships is vulnerability. Taking a chance and allowing others to be there for me almost always brings me to the place where deeper levels of intimacy form. Not surprising, this is supported by research from Brene Brown, which shows that we are much more likely to trust people that ask for help than those that go it alone.      

Like many, 2021 has been a year of both ups and downs. The sustained pandemic creating an opportunity to notice and smooth out my rough edges. While bitter at times, the sweetness of this journey almost always appeared in moments of humor, humility, and shared connection.   

I want to say a big heartfelt thank you to my friends, family, clients, and colleagues that have accompanied me through the year. Wishing everyone a happy holidays and an abundant New Year.